Finally able to post again

Well, my computer in my 6th hour has been doing wonky crap lately, so this is the first post I've done in a while. I'm not having actual attacks anymore, but I'm coughing up crud. I'm all *hack hack* *spit*. Seth and I finally got his research project done last night at like 20 till 10. But it's done and handed in and that's what counts. Tomorrow and Thursday are finals for the trimester, and next week I'll have a whole new schedule. Yippee. But, luckily, no more racist full-bloods harassing me in 2nd hour after this week. In ten days, Seth and I will have been together for 1year and 6months. I need to ask Mom for $40 dollars so he and I can go to prom. I don't remember if I've mentioned it before, so as an update, my best friends Heather and Adam were dating, have split up, and now Heather's dating Seth's brother Jonah. The only downside is that when they argue, they're on opposite ends of the couch with us in the middle, so we just look at each other and giggle. I guess I'm done ranting for today, so here's to nasty processed school food and the nausea that goes with it.

Stress.....too.....much........(insert asthma attack here)

Ugh. This week has been hell. Sunday, Seth came over to work on his research project for English (which is past due), and about mid-evening, I started having asthma attacks. Like, bad. This has persisted to today. I haven't had a bad one in a few hours now, so I'm all happy, but exhausted and very sore from all the coughing. But back to Seth. He came over when he wasn't supposed to, so Jonah came and took the truck, but he brought it back later, so it was all good. But next week is the end of the trimester. He has until Tuesday to finish his research paper, and because it's really slow-going, his mother is now convinced that we haven't been doing any work on it, we've just been making out, which really makes me mad that Glenda would think I would put Seth's grade on the line just for a little touch. So hopefully, he'll be able to come over at some point this weekend and we can finish it so he doesn't fail. But I think all my asthma issues have been stress induced, cuz I was all stressed out yesterday, and had a bunch of asthma attacks, and the day before, too, and the day before that, going back to Sunday evening. I finally went in for a breathing treatment on Tuesday, and they gave me a nebulizer and the meds for it and Grandpa Jerry hooked me up with an oxygen tank so I can breathe now, or at least work my way up to it. Wish me good health and little stress, folks.

PMS sucks.

Ah, once again, I am doomed to go through the monthly evil that is womanhood, and once again, I wish it had never started. I'm bloated, cramping, headachey, and just all around uncomfortable. I don't know how to MAKE IT STOP!!! But Seth and I are doing well. He hasn't mentioned anything about an eating disorder since our big fight about it. My best friend, Heather, and Seth's big brother, Jonah, are now dating, and I'm very happy for them. Heather was dating my other best friend, Adam, and they were not good for each other at all. And Jonah needed someone stable (he's separated, and his ex is clinically skitzoid), so I'm glad they're working out:D. But that's about all there is to report. Signing off.

AAARRGGH!!!

Well, I have to say I'm the maddest I have been at Seth since the week and a half this time last year that we were broken up. Meeting Sara went well, if you discount the fact that she looks like a tall cross between me and Tasha, but with a round face. And now I still don't know if he started dating me for me or b/c I reminded him of Sara. And about an hour before she showed up, he and I got in a huge fight over him saying, "You make me worry that you have an eating disorder." EXCUSE ME?!? I worked my ass off, both literally and figuratively, to lose wieght and look better for HIM (shrank my stomach) and now he's accusing me of having an eating disorder b/c it doesn't take as much food for me to function as it does him? I don't even think so! I don't even think, even after telling him he did, he realizes how much he hurt my feelings saying that. I ended up in the bathroom crying. And then he was talking about how he was sorry, he took it back, but he's concerned that I'm hurting myself. When he starts seeing blood, then he can worry. In the meantime he needs to just let me do my own thing, and he doesn't realize that just because he has to eat six times a day, that I don't. I dunno. I'm just all aaarrggh. But I'm gonna play solitaire now.

AAARRGGH!!!!

Well, I have to say I am the most angry today at Seth that I have been in a long time. In fact, in almost a year (he and I broke up for about a week &1/2 about a year ago). He's got it in his head that just because I don't eat as much as he thinks I should, I "might have an eating disorder". I mean, it's not like I don't eat, or that I eat and then puke it all up. I just usually only eat once a day, but I eat only when I'm hungry, and since I shrank my stomach (to get thin to look better for HIM) I don't need to eat as much to achieve fullness. And I still don't know if he started dating me for me or because I reminded him of Sara. She could pass as another sister of mine. She looks like a cross between me and Tasha, but taller and with a round face. He keeps telling me he got with me for me, and I know that in the thought process section, but the instinct section's going, "eh.....i dunno......" and it's starting to get depressing. :(( But I mean, how dare he accuse me of having an eating disorder!!! After all, he's smaller than I am, and he eats about ten times more than I do. I dunno, it just bugs me. But I'm gonna go play Zuma now.

Ermmmm....

Well, everybody wish me luck. Today, in about two hours, I get to meet an old friend and ex of Seth's. Name of Sarah. I'm kinda uneasy about it. Cuz from what he says, it's not like I'm afraid she's hotter than me or anything, it's just that she's an old flame and someone he's known a lot longer than me, so she knows things about him I don't, and THAT'S what makes me uneasy, cuz there'll be inside jokes and stuff that I'm not a part of! :(( I'm scurred (my version of scared). So everybody wish me luck.